I was sitting with the Lord early in the morning. We had been discussing why so many people die without hope. Why do so many prayers not get answered. After a while I got quiet and was simply enjoying our time together though the question still hung in the air. In the midst of this restful time I spoke and said, “I would like to come visit today. I don’t want to pray and intercede more right now but rather i would like to just hang our with you a bit. Is that ok? I have no needs that I need to communicate to you and I thought it would be nice if we just spent some time sitting together. I just want to visit with you.” In the next moment I found myself in the throne of grace, I was leaning against the wall in a courtyard. There was on the right side a stairway with maybe five or six steps. At the top of the stairway was the throne area, but interestingly Jesus was not seated on the throne. Jesus was seated on the top step leaning against the bannister. As I surveyed the courtyard area I discovered it had a short pillars scattered around the open area and on the pillars were platters containing the elements of the lord’s supper, bread and wine. There were beings, (I presumed they were angels), standing against the walls of the Courtyard also watching the courtyard and Jesus.
As I looked upon the scene before me I began to see people in the midst of these pillars. They would come into this throne room area, look around and go to one of the pillars where they would be met by one of the beings standing along the edges of the room. They would engage the people with the platter set on the top of the pillars. (Jesus would see them enter the throne room of Grace court yard, He would turn and look at someone and motion for them to go, take the Lord’s supper, and meet these peoples needs). I was watching Jesus and was amazed at the expression on his face as He would see these people’s needs being met. He got such a joy out of out of the people’s expression as they were healed or their need was fulfilled.
A young woman with two little children showed up in the Courtyard and I was watching them, waiting for someone to go and give them the Lord’s supper. No one was going. I grew perplexed and finally I took my eyes off of them and looked at Jesus, only to find he was looking at me. I could see in his eyes that he wanted me to go and meet this young lady and her children’s needs. Looking back at him I shook my head, and replied softly in my heart to Him, “I am only here to watch, Jesus. I am not worthy to meet these peoples needs”. As I looked into his eyes I saw tears starting to form. It shocked me. I started crying because I realized that I had hurt Jesus by saying no.
How could my refusal to go affect Him so much? So in some form of communications I said to him, “okay, okay I will go”. I was unsure how to proceed so I followed what I had seen others there doing, I walked over to one of the pillars, picked the Lord’s supper off the top of it and shared it with the young lady and her children. As I presented the meal to them they were so excited. My eyes we’re glued to this woman and her children and filled with tears of joy as I watched them leave the Throne of grace filled with contentment and peace. I turned back to look at Jesus and saw the most wonderful smile in his eyes. He was so excited, not just that they had their need met, but also that I could be a part of what He was doing in this throne room. I replaced the elements and walked back over to lean against the wall out of sight and out of the road I hoped. I could not get away from the delight that Jesus and I shared together in that moment.
I felt I needed to reiterate what my purpose in being there was so I spoke to him again, “Jesus can I just watch I really don’t have a need to do anything, I simply wanted to come because I wanted to be with you and watch”. He smiled and I became aware of more people coming into the throne room. It’s quite fascinating to watch Jesus be who He is, ever filled with compassion, just looking for a moment when he can touch someone’s life. People continued to come and go, different beings would take the Lord’s supper and present it to them. It seemed like maybe hours passed but I’m not sure what the time frame was. Another couple coming into the throne room of Grace caught my eye. I was watching Jesus to see what He would do and to my amazement once more His piercing eyes were focused on me and in my soul I knew he wanted me to take the Lord’s supper and give to this couple. Once more I looked at him (in all these conversations I don’t know that there were actual words) and I spoke, “Jesus, please, I just came the watch, I am not worthy, I can’t do this. There is someone else here Jesus who should take this supper to them”. This time Jesus eyes didn’t only swell with tears but the tears began running down his cheeks. I was appalled as once more I had hurt Jesus so deeply. So again through tears of repentance I spoke to Jesus and said “Ok, I will go, I’ll do it”. As I went over and picked up the Lord’s supper and presented it to this couple incredible joy filled me once more at the thought that I could be with Jesus in the throne room of Grace and be counted worthy to help someone. I was so filled with awe once more at just the thought of it. When I finished serving this couple I turned to look at Jesus. He was beckoning me to come over to the throne area and sit with him. Slowly I made my way over and climbed the stairs. As Jesus beckoned me to sit down beside him on the top stair I was filled with so many emotions. Jesus never condemned my lack of trust or my felt insignificance. Instead He had invited me to sit with him. It was such an unbelievable moment to sit beside Jesus and look out and see what he saw. He reached over and put his arm around me and we sat there together watching the activity in the throne room. My heart was so filled with tears it was hard to not just curl up into his arm and close my eyes forever. But i could not do that as Jesus was wanting me to experience His joy and wonder in that place. I don’t know how long we sat there together, but every once in a while Jesus would squeeze my arm or my shoulder or He would nudge me. He would beckon me to look where he was looking. We would watch together as another person had their need met. Many times we would both have tears of joy streaming down our faces as we looked over the scene before us. I knew what He was feeling! I was encountering His heart! It was one of the most peaceful fulfilling moments in my life.
After I do not know how long I found myself in my chair back on earth crying. The vision was over and i was back. As I sat and meditated on this happening I was given the revelation of what this was about.
The actual happenings; I had just encountered Jesus, seated in His throne room, Who receives people’s prayers from around the world. He, in turn, speaks to someone on earth and sends them — not to pray human prayers but to take the reality of His death, burial, and resurrection to these people to meet their cry/need. When we refuse to go because we really do not know what our salvation is all about, saying we are not worthy or some other lame excuse, we break Jesus heart. Because we do not trust Him or know Him the people praying must wait or not receive the answer to their prayers at all. Mostly this happens as a result of our insecurity and lack of relationship with Him. (we are not intentionally trying to hurt people or Jesus. We simply have never realized that Jesus salvation offered us is about life and death. We thought it was a religious activity confined to buildings and meetings.
This whole vision was about the question we had shared together at the beginning of my conversation with Him. He gave me the vision as an answer to my first question, “why do so many not receive answers to their prayers and end up having no hope. We are the reason, the problem. We have never realized that Jesus is looking for someone whom will go and take His answers to people’s heart cries to them as His ambassadors. ([biblegateway passage=”2 Cor. 5:17-21″ display=”2 Cor. 5:17-21″])
WE are not the sons we should be ([biblegateway passage=”1 Jn.3:2-4″ display=”1 Jn.3:2-4″]). Jesus wants us to be an extension of His presence and Love — in all of our living, everywhere every moment. He wants us to take His provision and the “Word of His power” to others and be His healing or hand to the lost, lame, blind and bound. WE are to be [biblegateway passage=”Jn. 20:21″ display=”Jn. 20:21″].
Somehow we are going to have to come back to the Word and read it, hear His voice with our hearts, and walk it out. The only way the lost can be found is when we become the answer to Jesus desire, (found in [biblegateway passage=”Jn.17″ display=”Jn.17″]) hear His spoken commission, and GO! Without real intimacy with Jesus, we will never reach the ones ready for answered prayer or their cry to a God they may not know but are looking for.
The great commission, [biblegateway passage=”Mt 28:18-20″ display=”Mt 28:18-20″] and [biblegateway passage=”Mt 21:13″ display=”Mt 21:13″] belong together.
In Father’s Hand, neil
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